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UAH bicycle racks

UAH bicycle racks

Amy Dunham

Amy Dunham

UAH bicycle racks

Amy Dunham, Staff Writer

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I promise that I am not going to complain about parking.

Okay, I lied.

There is not enough parking for bicycles in certain locations on campus.

Fun fact: “bike parking” consists of a couple of metal pipes in a squiggle, secured to the ground. Usually, these can be put in pre-existing locations, like overly large sidewalks or next to buildings in previously unused space.

But honestly, I am not here to complain. I am here to make a few suggestions.

Students of UAH: Find a different way to get to campus or a different way to get around on campus.

Don’t complain about being late because you could not find a parking space.

Don’t waste time and money putzing around the parking deck: surprise, there is no parking there five minutes before class.

Don’t waste my time explaining that there is not enough asphalt on this campus.

If you live off of Jordan Lane, Holmes Ave, or Sparkman (all of which are close to campus), ride a bicycle. Exercise is good for you and owning a bicycle is a great feeling. Having it stolen halfway through the semester is a great way to learn how you’re doing emotionally, and this is a good excuse to visit home in order to ask your mother for her bicycle that she never rides. (Or, pro tip: lock your bicycle. You’re welcome.)

If not: park behind Tech Hall. There is always parking far behind Tech Hall and additional parking behind Southeast. Get to school a little early and snag a spot at the Fitness Center. (I hear they can’t even check you for a parking pass in that lot! Kidding. Buy a parking pass if you park on campus.) Don’t park curbside at the UFC, even if they go three months without ticketing you. They will eventually, and parking tickets are fifty dollars, which is equivalent to six months of Netflix, five whole meals in the Cafeteria or one hundred packets of Ramen.

UAH Intermodal Facility

But those places are so far away from your class! Oh, poor soul. Take a hike. Take a walk. Fresh air, despite how long you may have been surviving without it, is good for you. When the air gets cool and crisp and stings your throat – that’s how you know you’re alive. Oh, and it’s a good excuse to wear scarves and sweaters and boots and drink hot tea after a long day of class.

Listen to a podcast on your way to class. Learn something you actually care about for free on the way to class, a class that you hate but are paying $1500 for (oh – sorry, that’s a different article). Dream about how many more parking spaces we could have on campus if everyone drove a Smart Car. Use your eyes – admire sidewalk cracks, blue skies, and tree leaves that are changing color. And people! Say hello to people. It’s not that hard, and I bet some Psych study somewhere says that people who greet other people on sidewalks are overwhelmingly happier and more content with their lives than those who do not.

If none of that appeals to you, you could always keep driving in circles by yourself, cursing the system and emitting CO2. Just make sure you stop for us at the crosswalks. We’ll see you in an hour.

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Parking (sort of…)